I remember when I was a kid I used to marvel at my father’s strength. He could do things like carry the color television all by himself or lift up one end of the couch and hold it while we retrieved all the missing things that had collected there. His wrists and arms had an uncanny thickness that seemed superhuman. He could cradle my whole body in his arms if need be. More than anything I hoped I could be strong like that one day. As I grew older I started to doubt whether I was ever going to get as strong as my dad. Part of me started to think his strength was just part of my childhood imagination. But lately I’ve noticed something strange, something unusual for my thin frame of a body – I am pretty sure I am getting a little bit stronger. I make a muscle and I can actually see something for the first time! My forearms have some meat on them! I realize now what happened and what must have happened with my dad. It must happen with all parents and caregivers of little children. Judging from the way grandmas can grip a wrist when they need you to hear something, I think it’s safe to say that moms acquire this strength as well for the same reasons as dads.
The reason for my increase in strength is a conditioning technique known as… carrying. One of the results of being a parent, this training technique focuses on the muscles in the hands, forearms, biceps, shoulders, and back. Although there are some long-term side effects such as arthritis and bad posture, this training technique has been known to churn out parents with uncanny strength. The more kids, the heavier the workout. This training regimen is foolproof! The ingenious part of this parental muscle building strategy is the steadily increasing weight of the load in question as a kid ages. By the time they are teenagers you are deadlifting upwards of one hundred pounds after thirteen years of consistent and daily training! Results are guaranteed! Just take your kid quietly out of the car seat and up to bed without waking them. You don’t have to put in any time in the gym! Just rock your baby to sleep in your arms for a year or two every night. No time commitments at all! Just forget your stroller at home and hold your kid in your arms until they are numb while the in-laws take in the local art museum. I am living proof that this technique works! And best of all it is completely free, try it today! Actually you don’t even have to try, just be… a parent.